How to mediate for anyone who feels they simply cannot silence their mind
Some really common responses from others I hear when I speak about meditation are “I can’t meditate”, “I can’t sit still for that long”, “there is no way to switch off my mind”, “I can’t meditate I don’t like closing my eyes like that”. I know these statements so well because they were, and at times still are, me too! We know about the amazing benefits of meditation so it would make sense we’d give it a go for our own physical, emotional and mental health. However as a beginner or in highly stressful times, the worst thing you could do to learn meditation is to just sit on the floor like a Yogi and ‘focus on your breath” ~ have you ever been told that? It’s sabotage don’t listen!
The benefits I have received from persisting with meditation for over 18 years have been pure gold and this is why I am so passionate about teaching it. The one I love the most is with a single moment in breath awareness I feel I can shift out of any undesirable state, into a peaceful and aware state of mind. It’s almost as though actual time slows down and there is space between my thoughts, space outside of me to process what is going on with ease. I feel spacious and calm. It has also given me instant access to a deep inner knowing, it’s how I make all my decisions from this place of intuition. Because of this I feel I am far less likely to experience fear unnecessarily. I have experienced anxiety but I don’t live with it, as I have the tools to manage it. Which is especially useful in uncertain times like these.
So here’s to inspiring you to take the steps and reap the many benefits of meditation;
You can’t get it wrong – there is no way to “do it right”, as in eyes open/eyes closed, candle/no candle, sit cross-legged/sit on a chair/lay on the floor/lay in bed, in complete silence/on the busiest street corner, first thing in the morning/after your walk/before bed/in bed. Keep in mind straight after food your body’s digestion may make meditation a little challenging, but hey, it’s been done before I promise!
Have no expectation – whilst it’s true it gets easier, most certainly true the benefits become embedded in your being, however one day you enjoy it and do it well, the next it’s not so easy ~ no matter how many years you’ve been practising. There is no way to silence the thoughts in your head, so don’t expect there to be none, NOT EVER, there is no switch. Know that every single time you notice a thought and choose to go back to meditating you are nailing it! Don’t get angry or give up because there are thoughts, they are meant to be there, it’s simply a practice of repetition. It’s not about losing your thoughts, it’s about training yourself to observe them without reaction and let them pass by.
Your physical body may dislike being still – especially if it’s first thing. Some need to move a lot, a walk, exercise, a Yoga practice before taking their seat. Stuck or dormant energy in the body can be agitating to the mind if we don’t take movement first. Do everything in your power to make your seat comfortable; use cushions or blankets under bum, back against wall or chair or bed or sofa, legs out in front or kneeling or cross-legged, sit on a chair. Leave no excuses to come out of the meditation!
If you shallow breathe your mind will be super busy – and mediation more difficult. When you learn how to breath slow and smooth, low and wide into the ribs, waist and back body if effects the physiology of the body. Our state of mind is a direct reflection of the way the diaphragm is moving. When it’s steady and slow you will settle the nervous system, the mind, the heart rate. You’ll feel present and calm. Without correct breathing time spent in meditation may be fruitless.
Have something to focus on – more than just the breath flow. Perhaps you are counting the length of inhale 1-2-3, then exhale 1-2-3. Perhaps you are repeating an affirmation or Mantra like So Hum, using Mudras or a particular breathing technique (Pranayama), eyes open meditation focus on one point, candle, Yantra or Mandala. Find what works for you so you can keep coming back from thought to breath awareness, your focus, create an anchor and a pattern for your repetition.
Remember that it is called a meditation ‘practice’ – not meditation perfect, so keep practicing. Begin setting an alarm (a pleasant sound or chimes) and time yourself for 1min, 3min, 5min 10min and draw out gradually. Remember the more stressed and busy we are the longer we need in meditation. Ironic I know, but I guarantee you it will GIVE you time because you will function differently because of it. Decisions will come easier, you will manage your internal environment so not to be overwhelmed by the external.
We are so conditioned to be go, go, go, doing, doing, doing ~ let’s face it even in lockdown we find as many distractions as we can! When was the last time you sat somewhere, or laid back into Savasana, and for some time felt completely present in your body, your mind, aware of emotions and thought. I bet it felt amazing afterwards! I love sharing this practice and helping others find their own unique way of meditating. Don’t give up if you haven’t found your way yet, there are so many options to focus on. You deserve the benefits this practice brings – so even if it’s just a minute or a few, explore, persist and experience the gold!
Namaste
Nic Whiteman
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