Go with what flow?! It’s chaos!

We’re 2 months into our sailing adventures north and along with the change of living environment and routines I have found there is quite a lot to learn (and gain) about releasing control and going with what at first I would NOT describe as ‘flow’ because well, it feels against me more often than not. Isn’t flow meant to be in alignment with me and what I want?! What flow when I can’t do what or go where we want to?! There’s been an adjustment or two when it comes to getting used to living solely within the framework of this 39ft vessel. We can go for 3 days without even stepping foot off it, my wardrobe space has been reduced to one shelf and a few coat hangers. Lucky I love being in close proximity day in day out with Corey and my dog Nala because for the most part we are either wedged in on a bench seat, galley way or cockpit together. Having some time out might mean moving 6ft from one another and reading a book or getting some work done. Forget thinking time out might be in privacy in the bathroom when it’s only shoulder width and a plasterboard between you at the dining table or bed. If it’s bad weather we don’t even have the space up on the deck or cockpit to move onto. But I LOVE IT and wouldn’t have it any other way, surprisingly we are doing just fine and it’s ….. Day 64. I can feel a wonderful simplicity of life settling into my nervous system. A real beauty in the way my brain has to focus first and foremost on what is most important instead of being filled with all the unnecessary stories that can so often spend way too long in my head. We have to focus on just the basics (or survival even) so we don’t miss our window of getting bare necessities or how we stay safely out of horrendous storms or swell, nor anchor where a torrid current won’t fling us into a low-lying bridge at midnight change of tide, nor be slewed sideways tipping at 45 degrees towards a breakwall on a 2.5m breaking wave at a river mouth entry (….ummm yes the 2 x latter we have already experienced and survived thank goodness). There’s been plenty of adventure and I must say I love a bit of adrenalin so I am enjoying the challenges as they come. I truly am so grateful for having and creating this opportunity. I still haven’t had a moment yet where I wish I was back in my home at Cronulla. This is the best! I am experiencing something refreshingly new to me - when I am only focussed on the simple I don’t have time for the irrelevant, what if’s, what was, what might be’s, worries or concerns ~ they’re no longer taking up so much brain space and time as they previously have done so.

I’ve been practising meditation and breathwork for almost 30 years now and I’m certain it’s provided me with a steady starting place for this adventure. Yet because of this I am also surprised at the resistance (fully body I might add) I have felt towards the changeable conditions we are impacted by daily and the fact we are completely at the the whim of the elements with where we go, when we go, how we get there and how long it takes. Basically I have struggled with things not going the way I plan them to and having something outside of me govern the entire journey and the outcome! I thought I was pretty ‘go with’, most say I am easy going, I know I adapt to change easily I’ve had a lot lately. Perhaps to a degree I am, but what I’m seeing in myself is I am having to very quickly release any need to know a date of where we will end up, when we will leave, whether we will even get that far, and how long it will take. I realise I have taken it for granted when I drive somewhere it’s unlikely something will get in the way of your path nor ETA, now it’s more than likely the case! Like tomorrow for example, the winds are ideal at sunrise to leave this area and head northwest BUT that’s low tide and we will be sitting in mud with our 2.1m keel, however at midday it’s high tide the winds are predicted to die off and unlikely to take us anywhere and we won’t get to our destination. I won’t lie, IT IS NOT coming easily, my body is wreathing through it. We regularly check wind direction and verocity, swell, tide changes and depths and make tentative plans then leave it to WHAT ACTUALLY DOES HAPPEN (and usually it’s not IT!) We may have read all the data, done all the sums (well to be honest Corey does the sums, I just participate and ask too many questions) and it all looks just right, what dreams are made of for our trip we have planned, yet at the same time be totally cool with tossing it all out the window last minute. He is so used to this and does it well, so I do have a great teacher. We are at the whim of the changeable elements of nature, I can honestly say I have never even taken these into consideration in anything I have ever done in the past. All I have ever considered is “do I need an umbrella?” and usually I don’t care if I get wet so I don’t bother. So this is all new to me, I can feel my whole being is adjusting, my nervous system is a beginner learning a new way because it does not feel like it’s coming naturally(…..yet). Sometimes I feel all agitated and have to give myself a lot of talking to. Frustrating yes, but I am loving that my nervous system is learning yet another layer of how to let go, to stop trying to know and control what is outside of me, which has got to be a super power right? In truth this experience of being at the whim of the elements is a gift. I am glad the only thing I have control of is how I respond to what is presented, the unknown. Thinking otherwise is fighting a battle already lost.

Do I really know what is best for me? Just because I am determined to do something on a certain day in a certain way in a certain timeframe with a certain person that this is going to have the best outcome for me….. truth is, NOPE. I am willing to let go of thinking I know what is going to be ideal, instead just allowing what will occur. I’m finding ease in the chaos that is occurring around me and trusting that this is exactly how it is meant to be AND that I can get myself through the uncomfortable bits. I am not meant to be changing or controlling what is going on around me, I am to change my perception of it instead ……THAT is where the gold is! It liberates me of stress just to consider this. In turn I gain more resilience and find the true essence of ‘go with the flow’.

We live in our homes, we create safety, we create routines with a supposedly ‘easy’ way of life in mind with minimal effort. We have our jobs, our roles ,our daily routines, yet we forget we can’t MAKE all this happen fluidly and consistently and react when it doesn’t. Interest rates rise or unexpected bills arrive and our bank accounts don’t look like our desired goal, we or our friends/family experience injury, illness or loss and we crash into a state of stress because it wasn’t in the plan. What if instead of sitting stuck in the resistance of what has occurred, we cultivate the resilience to move through it. The last 3 years has certainly reminded us we have no control of what is to come. We really do only have control of how we respond to it. So are we focussing on the wrong thing, on forcing things to happen the way we think they should. Instead could we be putting our effort and precious time into creating an environment within ourselves that can deal with what is presented, to find ease no matter the chaos (try my Hatha - Chaos to Calm in 1hr practice online).

Notice what you are focussing on - is it that what is happening is a problem, or is it how can I best cope with whatever is happening? From this we also experience a trust in ourselves and a trust that what is to come is actually more perfect than what I had in mind (since I am limited in knowing what is possible for me). So I hand over to allow what is to come and TRUST it will be just what I need it to be and I always have the ability to navigate through whatever might be. To be honest I have all the proof I need because in the past I have survived and even thrived from what has come unexpectedly.

How do we put this into practice in every day life and sustain our go with the flow attitude….without having to go on a sailing adventure?

For starters I believe it’s in having a wonderful relationship with our breath (try my 21 Day Breathe with Me Challenge) so we strengthen what we are choosing to focus on and use it as time out of focussing on what is best not to be. It’s about having a practice of mindFULLness by putting only the simple and manageable first and foremost in our focus and leaving the rest, what cannot be changed, aside (try my Space Between Thought meditation for finding the discernment between the two or Releasing Negativity guided meditation or Mind Over Matter Hatha 1hr practice letting go of the unecessary and finding trust). It’s about finding trust in our capacity to move through whatever is presented, trust in what is to come will be ideal regardless of how it looks at first (try my Go With The Flow guided meditation) Consider the elements and nature, how could you move with them, become more adaptable basing your decisions more with them in mind? (try my Core Play - Sacral Chakra Flow for a more go with state of being) I am convinced those who are in sync with nature have this whole thing down pat, this is Corey to a tee! That is the ultimate goal for me, I’m in the process, I’ll keep you posted! Thanks for reading ;-)

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